dionthesocialist: Sometimes, I wish I could ban my students from saying the word “gay” unless we’re specifically talking about homosexual people. Today one kid said that the ceiling was gay. Ceiling can’t be gay. Ceiling can’t even be straight. Ceiling is ceiling. Ceiling’s sexual preference is light bulb.
wh1rring: it scares me that you never know what someone is thinking or feeling towards you and everything that they say could be one massive lie
gorgeousdarren: when you forget capslock is on and google something really aggressively by accident
-annoying: i wanna play twister with someone really hot oops i fell & touched your whole body
lucifersblog: maddiebecck: I forgot that hail satan is not an acceptable phrase to express excitement You hang out with the wrong people.
dumblydoor: i just say things and hope they’re socially acceptable
liarnjamespayne: in 5th grade they made my class do a seminar thing on drugs and we had to sign an anti-drug pledge and afterwards they gave us these really fancy certificates declaring that we would be drug free forever and i ended up rolling a joint with mine in freshman year so there u go
stayy0ungandwild: Opinions are like orgasms. Mine’s more important and I dont care if you have one.
hitlersbreastmilk: hello mr president i would like to buy america for 4 goats
fictitiousfake: J.K Rowling said that her inspiration for Hagrid came from when she was 19 in a pub in the west country and this terrifying looking guy came in with these other biker guys and the only thing he talked to J.K about was how his cabbages were getting on
ameliaslastgoodbye: one thing I will never understand is how normal people are unaffected by movies or books I mean when they watch a movie or finish a book they say “well that was a good movie/book” and they move on while I have an existentional crisis and question the whole universe
ohaidanturners: if u can’t handle me at my hulk then u sure as hell don’t deserve me at my bruce banner
trillow: starllex: trillow: look inside yourself. what do you see. you should at least have a few lungs a few give or take
humancentipeed: In the Sims, you don’t say, “I love you.” You say, “Habadu bashubi,” which roughly translates to, “I cannot move because there is furniture in the way.” I think that’s absolutely beautiful.
amoying: sometimes when i stand up my vision gets really blurry and i feel like im about to die but then its like nvm still alive phew
somethingaboutgaret: homosexuality is not a choice because hulk hogan gave me my first boner and nobody would choose that