If I was a celebrity I would go knocking on doors and be like hello yes it’s me
(via laughcentre)
what if there was a really flamboyant assassin and after they killed someone they just snapped their fingers, turned away and said ‘you’ve just been SASSassinated’
(Source: frickingloki, via laughcentre)
i steal jokes from tumblr and say them in real life and my friends think im a comedic genius
(via laughcentre)